THE KEY TO THE TREASURE IN MY HUSBAND

I usually hide problems until they are resolved by God and I have a testimony. But God is pulling me to transparency in the battleground of my marriage, because there are many testimonies even within the struggle, and many people will be helped and encouraged.

I married my husband in 2005 after a dream I had. I didn't know my husband very well when he started asking me out. He asked me out on a date every day for 6 days. Each time I told him NO. I was not that interested. He wasn't my type at all. I wasn't very attracted to him. But on that sixth day, I thought perhaps I should pray about it, considering this man was a Christian, even preaching the Gospel to people at our job (we worked together at a restaurant).

So I prayed that night. Went to bed and had a dream. I woke up and KNEW that I was not only to say YES to the date, which I did on the 7th day, but that God wanted me to marry him.

Long story short... we were married 3 months later.

Many Christians will lead you to believe that if God called you to a marriage, that your spouse will be perfect, and there will be no problems. That's a lie.

I have so much to write. So much to share. So much to teach. Yes teach. God told me that I was a Teacher.

My husband has struggled for decades to be a faithful man to me, and to God. He has a bondage to lust, lying, and hypocrisy.

I'm not perfect either, but I live a life of repentance. If I fall, I get up again, dust off, straighten my crown, and go after the devil for tripping me. I never cheat or lie. I am faithful to my husband, and I'm after God's heart. That's the main difference between us.

I don't want to paint an inaccurate picture of my husband. He's not the devil as I once believed. He has had his seasons of seeking God and improving, but like a seed growing in thorns of lust, thorns he refused to cast into the fire, he doesn't bear much fruit, because he gets choked out by those desires, as so many do in this world.

But there's hope for him, as there's hope for every person bound to sexual lust. I can testify to this, because I had my own battles that God gave me the victory over! Those testimonies are coming too!!

My husband is currently in submission to God's will now, but struggling to be a man who seeks the Lord on his own daily. He has even given me permission to write about this, as it is God's will.

I thought my husband was delivered at one point. My husband told me he was delivered from all lust and sexual sin completely. I truly saw such improvement in him. I started seeing some fruit. Things seemed to be going so well. I even started sharing our testimony. But he didn't stay with it, and began to backslide. I didn't know how much or how bad until a few summers ago when God exposed him, and he confessed.

His confessions broke me. I spiraled down into depression and entered a season of faith testing.

I wanted to leave my husband... divorce him. Even after coming against divorce so fiercely...

I regretted encouraging every woman who ever came to me for advice to stay with their cheating, lying husbands. Those wicked wimpy men didn't deserve their wives or forgiveness!

I was bitter, resentful, and hatred entered my heart for my husband. I didn't want to be with him any more. His offenses against me, and his brainwashing narcissistic pathological demonic lies went on too long! I saw NO hope for this man who didn't ever want to seek the Lord.

I told God that I was done. I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He refused. He begged me to stay with him. "Repented" again. Promised again. Cried again. But he's done all this in consistent cycles for 21 years. I was finally done.

I wanted to move away and be free from constant heartache. I wanted peace. I wanted to cut off a person who never stopped wounding me.

I told God that Richard was hopeless and I was going to leave him. If not an official divorce, then I was certainly going to take my children and move away from him where he could never find me again.

THEN GOD SPOKE WORDS TO ME , which began to change my mind, shift my mindset toward my husband, enabled me to be willing to forgive him, and began to change my heart toward him. It was just a start though... but I decided not to leave my husband and instead submit to God in all things.

God is speaking these same words your about to read to so many others suffering in their marriage, perhaps on the brinks of divorce.

Mostly we cannot go to humans for advice, because we will get HUMAN advice, when what we need is GOD'S ADVICE. We can't even trust our own advice to ourselves in our woundedness. God didn't call me to "go find my peace" and "go be free" from suffering... He called me to die to self, partake of HIS suffering and become like HIM; and in that cross I find the peace and freedom I craved.

Don't go to humans blinded by wounds. They will advise you selfishly from their broken flesh as the world advises. Seek God and His Word for a personal answer.

 GOD SAID TO ME: "Daughter, your husband will hurt you many times until he is delivered. He has already hurt you many times. It's not him... he is oppressed and controlled by your enemy, the devil. Remember, the devil is your enemy, not your husband. You do not war against flesh and blood, but against unseen hosts of wickedness in the spiritual realm. The devil and the flesh are your enemies. The old man in your husband that needs to be crucified is your enemy. This old man can die on a cross and YOU can help lead him there with AGAPE LOVE. Are you willing? I love your husband. He is My son. I want to see him set free. I want him to have life and life to the fullest. I want My anointing, power and love to overtake him. I have many plans for him. But the enemy has blinded him. Love on him, My Daughter. You are the light in this world. You are the light in your marriage. If you are called to shine to the world, how much more to your family... to the husband I gave you? Shine My light on him. Manifest My love to your husband. Glorify My name by loving him in his sin, even the sin the breaks your heart, seeing him through unto deliverance and salvation.

"Love him as I have loved you. Stay with him as I have stayed with you, and never forsook you in YOUR sin because you asked Me. Do unto your husband as you would have Me do unto you. You asked Me to stay with you, remember? You asked Me for chance after chance, to love you, to see you through unto freedom, and so I have, therefore you must do these same things for your husband, for this is My will and your calling. This is your job as a Godly, Christ-like wife. Love paralyzes the enemy. Remember this, My Daughter, Love, MY Love shuts the devil down and foils his plans to destroy your marriage.

"Your husband's unfaithfulness hurts him more than it hurts you, because it brings him into deep and deeper bondage which leads to hell. His sin is not malicious to hurt you. He loves you. But he is bound to sin, enslaved to these lusts. Help free him.

"Do not desert him in his captivity and greatest time of need. Stay and be My hand of deliverance.

"He needs to know My love. You can be an expression of this love.

"He needs to know YOUR love, despite his sins against you. Greater love has no one than this, that one should lay down their life for their friends. Lay down your life for your husband. Die to yourself. Die to your worldly dreams. Love him.

"This love will help open his eyes to see Me, and to see his true identity in Christ. Then I can pour out My Spirit and invade his heart, transform it and cause him to triumph.

"Right now your husband acts as an enemy, because he is a captive to your enemy and is used by your enemy. Rebuke the real enemy, the devil. Pray for your husband.

"You are different, My Daughter. You do not act as a daughter of this fallen world, seeking divorce or another man. You are different. You are heavenly. You are chosen and set a part to be like Jesus Christ who went to the cross as a sacrifice for His Bride. So sacrifice yourself for the salvation and deliverance of the man who is one flesh with you."

 God gave me a KEY with several signs and confirmations... He gave me the key to unlock the treasure in my husband.

 This treasure is the son and man of God that he is deep inside... his true identity in Christ. This man is bound in chains, locked deep in a chest.

 At first, I was offended by this key, being highly resentful at times by my husband's absence in the battle to get our son healed and delivered knowing how much damage he could be doing to the enemy from his fatherly position of authority, but he does nothing.

 As the head of the house, the father, and the husband, he stands in a place of special authority and together I believe we could have had my son healed by now. But I've been fighting this battle for Alexander mostly without him.

 I told God this was not fair.

 My mind not being renewed and my heart not submitted, I said "Why should I always have to deliver my husband, especially now that I am too busy trying to get my son healed. My husband should be the leader in this, but he is not in this battle and now I have to go run after him to pull him out of another pit."

 Again, with grief, I told the Lord that this was not fair.

 God then told me that I was not taking the lead on this rescue mission, BUT THAT HE WAS, and if I wanted to PARTNER with HIM in helping my husband, I could follow HIM, be a part of something amazing, and be blessed in my obedience.

 And He would give me the key to unlock this treasure in my husband, unlock the chains around this treasure chest binding up his identity as a son of the King, and in doing so, unlocking the complete restoration of my son.

 He said no it is NOT fair, but neither was it fair when He died on a cross for me. So if I am willing to partner with JESUS in this unfair mission, I would have to die to self, but I will have my husband back, and my husband will be free to use the keys God gave him to help, not only our son, but our entire family.

All I know is that God has a plan bigger than my near-sighted, bitter mortal mind can comprehend. He always changes my mind about so many things when I passionately seek Him for His word.

I walked in my own way and lost hope. He offered to put me on the right path, and I saw great hope. So I said yes.

Commonsense and worldly wisdom tells you that there is no hope for people like my husband. That if a person has not changed after so long, they never will, but God says something different. Time is not greater than God. Nothing is.

I choose to believe God. I choose to look through His eyes. I choose to feel what He feels. I choose to hear His voice and not the voice of the enemy in any form. I choose to believe that He will finish the job He started in my husband the day He had me cast seven demons out of him in 2010. Even before that, the day He told me to MARRY HIM!

I choose to die to myself and partner with God.

God says, "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts," (Isaiah 55:8-9).

He also says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to God, and He will make your paths straight," (Proverbs 3:5-6).

 Warning: if this post offends you, you might want to stop following me, because a lot more like it are coming. I'm posting in obedience to God, not humans... this post will not make the devil happy, tickle ears, or please most people. The church has been polluted by the enemy concerning the subject of marriage, holding a world view (which is a selfish view) instead of a God view. Christians change spouses the way they change their outfits. This should not be. Unfortunately, a lot of Christian bullies have silenced the truth for far too long. God is calling people like me to start telling their story right where they are in order to shine a light on God's way, and to encourage others suffering in the same way to stay in the fight, trust God and look through His eyes.

There is no Scripture or godly arguement that supports divorce or remarriage. None. When I wanted biblical grounds to divorce my husband, I searched the Word for justification to divorce, and remarry, and I FOUND NONE! Instead I learned the opposite of what I was wanting to find... I found undeniably that GOD HATES DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE IS ADULTERY.

Anyone searching for TRUTH, and not willing to twist Scripture to fit their own desire will find the same. Death to SELF is hard and painful so most Christians avoid it. Marriage is death to SELF.

The debate arises from Christians lust, loniness, fear, and lack of understanding the bible and God.

No, God never tells anyone to divorce. Period. Not biblical AT ALL. And remarriage while your spouse is alive is adultery. So many Christians think they hear or heard God tell them to divorce their spouse then remarry. Those Christians are NOT hearing God. They are hearing their own lust or demons.

Malachi 2:16

“For the Lord God of Israel says That He HATES DIVORCE, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore TAKE HEED TO YOUR SPIRIT, THAT YOU DO NOT DEAL TREACHEROUSLY.”

Luke 16:18

"Whoever divorces his wife and MARRIES ANOTHER COMMITS ADULTERY; and WHOEVER MARRIES HER WHO IS DIVORCED FROM HER HUSBAND COMMITS ADULTERY."

Romans 7:2–3

"For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives... So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress."

Matthew 19:3-6

The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ land said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Mark 10:6–9

"But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.'"

"Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

Mark 10:2-9

[2] The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” testing Him. [3] And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?” [4] They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.” [5] And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. [6] But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ [7] ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, [8] and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. [9] Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Matthew 5:31–32

"Whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery.... And whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.".....

The above Scripture Matthew 5:32 is NOT giving permission for divorce because of adultery.

Jesus is warning about the destructive consequences of divorce.

The passage says that a man who divorces his wife causes her to commit adultery.

Why?

Because divorce separates what God joined together and places the divorced spouse in a position where remarriage becomes a temptation and remarriage is adultery.

I Timothy 5:5-6, 11-15 explains... "Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. [6] But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. [11] But refuse the younger widows; for when they have begun to GROW WANTON AGAINST CHRIST, THEY DESIRE TO MARRY, [12] having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith. [13] And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not. [14] Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. [15] For some have already turned aside after Satan."

Yet Scripture teaches that a divorced person is to remain UNMARRIED or be reconciled to their spouse (1 Corinthians 7:10–11).

The phrase "except for sexual immorality" does NOT suddenly turn into a divine permission slip for divorce.

Jesus is simply stating that if the wife has already committed sexual immorality, the husband cannot be said to have caused that particular sin through the act of divorce. She has already committed adultery within that marriage so she is already an adulteress and cannot be made one through divorce.

The focus of the passage is not permission to divorce. The focus is the seriousness of divorce and the adultery that follows when God's design for lifelong marriage is broken. Jesus points people back to God's original intention: one man, one woman, joined together for life. What God has joined together, let not man separate.

The modern idea that adultery automatically grants a biblical right to divorce and remarriage reads something into the text that Jesus never explicitly says. The passage is a warning against divorce, not an endorsement of it.

Romans 7:2

"A woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives."

1 Corinthians 7:39

"A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives..."

People mad at me for this post, and my comments are not mad at me, but at God. It's His word, and I stand on it against the angry mob.

Many people point to 1 Corinthians 7:15 as proof that abandonment by an unbelieving spouse gives the believing spouse the right to divorce and remarry. However, that conclusion goes far beyond what the text actually says.

I Corinthians 7:12-16 NKJV

[12] But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. [13] And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. [14] For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. [15] But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. [16] For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?"

First, Paul begins this section by saying, "But to the rest I, NOT THE LORD, SAY..." (1 Corinthians 7:12).

Second, Paul repeatedly tells the believing spouse not to seek divorce. He says, "Let him not divorce her" (v. 12) and "Let her not divorce him" (v. 13). The entire thrust of the passage is to preserve the marriage, not dissolve it.

Third, when Paul says, "If the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases" (v. 15), he does not say the believer is free to divorce. He does not say the believer is free to remarry. He does not say the marriage covenant is dissolved. Those words simply are not found in the text.

The phrase "not under bondage" means the believer is not required to fight, strive, chase, manipulate, or force the unbelieving spouse to stay. God has called us to peace. If the unbeliever chooses to leave, the believer is to let them go rather than create endless conflict in an attempt to keep them in the home.

Furthermore, if the departing spouse files for divorce, the abandoned spouse may have no legal power to stop it. The divorce may happen against their will. But a civil divorce decree does not erase God's definition of marriage. Scripture says, "What God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6).

Paul's statement in verse 15 must also be interpreted in harmony with his earlier command in verses 10–11:

"If a wife departs from her husband, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband."

Paul gives only two options: remain unmarried or be reconciled. He does not introduce a third option a few verses later that suddenly allows remarriage because an unbelieving spouse walked away.

Therefore, 1 Corinthians 7:15 cannot be used as a biblical authorization for remarriage. The passage is about living in peace when an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave. It is not about dissolving a marriage covenant or granting permission to marry someone else.

The believer's responsibility remains the same: remain faithful to God's definition of marriage, pray for the departed spouse, leave the door open for reconciliation, and remain unmarried unless reconciliation occurs or death ends the marriage bond.