I MAKE ALL THINGS NEW

WORSHIP ENCOUNTER: Jesus spiritually changed my DNA... MANY YEARS AGO I surrendered "love and romance" to God. When I did this, I realized to my surprise there was a gaping hole in me that only God could fill.

I realized that without the pursuit, desire and hope of having a man in my life that would be totally in love with me, and I him, I was empty, and had no clue who I was. This was shocking.

I realized that took up so much of my personality that when gone... I was half or less than half of a person. I realized that finding/having a man/love/romance and sharing my life with someone who loved me and who I was desperately in love with was a foundational part of my very personality and identity. I was addicted to being in love and being admired.

I have always pursued this, had this desire for romance, and hope for love since I was 10 years old! I had boyfriend after boyfriend from that age, and only truly fell in love once, then I gave up dating when I finally surrendered my life to Jesus at age 21.

For 6 years I prayed and waited for a husband. Then I married my husband at age 27 who never fulfilled this desire. In fact, he was completely opposite of this, being an unfaithful, unloving man for so many years... so I went on dreaming and hoping he would become that man I felt I needed.

It seems like God didn't answer my prayer, but He did. This is another post for another day. But God has worked miracles in my husband. My cross was my marriage molding me into the image of Jesus.

Never in all my life have I been without this obsession, nor did I know I should be without it, nor did I ever know or think it was an issue or even there. It was so a part of me I didn't know there was life outside of it. It wasn't a thought in my head... until I hit the end with my hope with my husband.

I lost all hope that he would change, and become the man I dreamed of all my life. All hope for earthly happiness died in my husbsnd.

When this hope died, I suddenly realized I had to surrender the desire for romantic love. I suddenly realized I could never "fall in love with", respect, or adore a man who never loved me, has lied and cheated and lusted for years upon years bringing great harm to his family.

The Lord had already told me NOT to leave my husband. Divorce wasn't an option, and neither was finding a new man. The Lord told me to stay and instead LOVE HIM WITH GOD'S LOVE (AGAPE LOVE). So, I chose to surrender completely to God and obey Him.

I laid it all down, gave it all up for the first time ever, and that is when I realized I didn't know who the heck I was without it.

What would I live for? What would I pursue? What will my happiness be for? What is the point of life? This is when I realized the idolatry in my "ROMANTIC dreams/desires/pursuits".

In that moment I entered a vision/encounter with Jesus! I stood in front of Him, and I ripped this idol out of me, out of my body, soul, mind and utmost being, and I gave it to God.

When I ripped it out of me, I realized I ripped out most of who I was and I stood before God with a big empty hole in me, having no clue what to do now. I stood empty, confused and dazed.

Then Jesus stretched out His hands to me, showing me His palms, and I knew what He wanted me to do... I put my hands to the hands of Jesus, palm to palm as we often do, and something new happened....

Electric light came out of His hands into mine... binding my hands to His hands... my soul to His soul.... light beaming like electricity... like lightening from His finger prints and the wounds in His palms was shooting from His hands went into my DNA and His electric light changed my DNA...

Then His lightening light shot from His finger prints into my finger prints... searing them, burning them, CHANGING THEM INTO SOMETHING ELSE!!

Light began to beam out of my new finger prints, all the while, His light from His finger prints still shooting forth into my finger prints.... from His entire hand into mine.

As this was happening, I felt my soul, mind and body vibrate and transform. I felt His anointing, glory and power shooting through me. I felt like I was being electrocuted without pain. Electrocuted by His glory.

I felt all this "glitching", like a computer getting reprogramed... like a robot getting rebooted. While I stayed in the place with Him, not daring to remove my hands from His while He did this strange thing to me, I felt His increasing presence on me... making me as they say, "drunk in the Spirit"... His tangible glory increasing to a heaviness upon my body... my mind so filled with peace that passes understanding... swirling with joy and bliss. My heart weightless and unburdened in this glory... then He communicated what was going on... I received understanding, revelation and His message to me.

"I make all things NEW"

The old me was dying and the new me was being born in this area. Where IDOLATRY was surrendered, Christ was being built up in me. The old identity was nailed to a cross in my surrender and God was fusing His own identity into me.

He was filling that gaping hole with His Spirit, replacing all that the old me wanted with all that should be there from God. New desires. New dreams. New hopes. NEW LOVE. A love so powerful it made mortal love so pathetic.

He was replacing this near sighted romance with eternal perspectives, eternal desires, eternal dreams, eternal goals, ETERNAL GOD-LOVE, and it was all found in JESUS.

Jesus gave me an eternal perspective and eternal love. He is my eternal husband, my eternal romance. No man on earth compares. Those who can grasp this will avoid much heart break in this fallen world. We are not of this world, we are heaven's eternal royalty.

If God had not given me the husband He gave, and instead gave me the man I dreamed of having, I would still be in idolatry. God gave a man who would break me in Christ the way I needed to be broken. And in His perfect greatness, He used me to pull my husband out of a pit that led to hell. My husband and I saved each other in different ways. Marriage isn't always about your happiness, sometimes it's about salvation, death to self, and saving your spouse. Not everyone can accept this.

Note: I am transparent about my marriage according to God's instructions. What He does for me, He can do for you. I would rather not share this kind of personal stuff, I promise, but the Lord has called me to be public, open and honest about some of my struggles for HIS GLORY, and to help others going through the same thing.

I have so much more to share... so much. I will be writing books when God releases me.